I’m not one to go in much for ‘perfection.’ Nor am I much of a fetishist. But were I ever to ever put a month up on a pedestal, titillate it with a little slap ‘n tickle and a lick of toe worship, May would be my muse, hand’s down. May is a sexy freakin’ month, don’t you agree? Downright holy, most glorious time of year – hanging outside in the sunshine without running screaming from hideous torrents of torpid winds, mind-numbing, skin-peeling awfulness, May is in the business of miraculous deliverance. Alfresco time for sublime dining till nine in the pm. Life bustles everywhere, busting its seams – sidewalk cafes, cheery afternoons on the sundeck, soccer games late Friday night with mucho caliente Latin loverboys (oye, papi). Girlfriends sending sentimental e-mails of dorky, photos-of-roses Power Point presentation in Russian text (but still pretty to look at). Anarchy, freedom, acting the freak is May’s illustrious adage… an anthem even this wry rebel can get behind. Let us all together pledge our mutual affection and adoration for the sacrosanct month of May. Phantasmagorically gorgeous, clever, witty and wise, I’d gladly give up my autonomy to be May’s love slave, cater to its every whisper, bow down to its every whim. ‘Viva la revolucion,’ quoth I, forge forward into summer and take out the well-worn trash – April is so last month! (Celestial shout-out to my man, Kurt V., may you rest in peace you wackadoo-insano, appointing asterisks for *ssholes in novels, looking down from esteemed writer’s heaven, goddess bless ‘ya, dude.) And to all you accountants, with your eyes still glazed, mayday-mayday-mayday! Take a moment to breathe in, kick back and try to relax before the inevitable post-tax-season-traumatic-dramatic-stress disorder malfunction kicks in. Fight the trauma by raising an extra-frosty mug on the fifth, a hip kick-off to a month-long beer-fest in reverence to the fight for independencia, a holiday all religions can agree on! (Do crack open an extra one, to toast Beatrix Giselle, my pumpkin of a one-year old niece!) Hoist up that stein way over your head and clinkie together, here’s to our successful common emergence on the fairer end of another rotten NY winter… we survived one more! Herculean high-five to the entire city! (Smack)

	What better words to chew on than, ‘May is a money month for you Aries?’ Hello?! You’re so in control, baby. You just grab money matters by the horns and wrestle ‘em to the floor, tank-girl, knock ‘em out ‘n pound ‘em into oblivion… revolt, freedom, sovereignty! Never you mind what the ticker says, you’re majorly in the flow. Just play it cool and lay low in early-month, bully-headed Aries. It’s all good to follow your own inner-freak. (Just don’t be a hater, Alec Baldwin, be more hippie like Che Guverra, you understand the diff I trust.) But be extra careful not to piss off peeps in your close circle, as you may be especially (ahem) abrasive (Ms. Termninatrix) and they may be especially sensitive (like you have your rag at the same time, oy vey gavalt). Since you’re already so money this month, now is narry the time to muddle up your fung shui, rearrange your boudoir, or have some big dramatic makeover, umkay? Just take it a step back, put the credit card back in your wallet, keep on keeping on and throw it back to basics with LAURA GELLAR’S EYE SPACLE. Oh yes, uh-huh, that’s right. Exactly like the goo you slop on the walls, well… maybe a smidgy more creamy and weightless, a base undercoat for powder shadows, setting the stage for all the loud-glittery, large-in-charge-colors you can load on top of it. Like the Bogi to your Bacall, zexi eyes, smooth, vibrant, long lasting, sappy alone but as a team – on fire. Keep those spectral fireworks sparking, baby, sooo theatrical, Ms Crawford. So scandalously delicious the flurry that one diva can create with some killer eye make-up and the will to use (or misuse) it. Don’t hate me because I’m spackled, honey, it’s the luck of the draw. (www.sephora.com)
	You’re a buzy little bee in May, Taurus, all a’twittering and a’fluttering with fiery mental energy (and spit ‘n vinegar in Nyorican terms). You got an IV mainlined running straight from morning teatime into your veins, and your brains are buzzed to high heaven on Lady Grey! If you didn’t figure it already, this month is extremely boastful to your Turean esteem. Hello, is this thing on?!… it’s like butter for your ego! So slather it on liberally or better yet, have your ‘special friend’ come over and rub it in for you. After all, May is your month (sticking with the month-long-b-day philosophy, like a Courtney Love liquor-soaked bender), you ‘lil devil, and you’re likely hatching up some secret plan like some cluckity mother hen, and no one else is the wiser. (Sneaky-devious, I love it!) So keep on sporting that low profile for the time being (Tara Reid), open your ears to friends’ emotional blathering (Heather Mills soon-to-be-x-McCartney), and keep on being the peacemaker (Karl Rove) (hey – someone’s gotta respect words like Geneva and Kyoto), cause for some reason this month you’re everyone’s go-to-gal. They all just wanna lounge around on your Italian suede, Freudian couch bask in your fabulousness, and blab it out. So you just go ahead let them. And for goodness sake, don’t allow a minor job setback or weensy emotional hiccup to spoil your sky-high-May-mood. Ohm namo narayanaya, is the chant for when your internal-heckler starts ranting. But in case your skin chart is in Virgo (like mine) and your raging emotions unwittingly light up your dermis like mega-constellations in distant cosmos, and all the ohm’ing in the universe just isn’t assuaging your twitchy nerves, don’t even stress it anymore. Just blend away your emotions from your sleeve with CLINIQUE’S MOISTURE SHEER TINT SPF 15. A revitalizing, sheer wash of color that hydrates and evens-out skin-tone in four beautiful shades of blush. Wear ‘em completely bare or underneath makeup to protect against the elements with sunscreen and a powerful antioxidant complex, for those days heavy on the we’re-ignoring-the-Kyoto-Protocol-enviro scale. Seriously, by now everyone knows we gotta take precautions against nature’s potential ravages in our beauty regime. At the very least the pollutants do make for spectacular ozone sunsets! (www.macys.com) (You can still book spot on my arc but you’d better hurry, space is at a premium. I’ll give you an extra special price for being such a loyal reader.)
	May is a quiet month for you, Gemini girl, what a relief! So take advantage of peaceful times to gather your energies, plug into your femme-o-pod, refresh, deep breathe, and sign off on any important projects lingering about your mental orbital. Your intellect gets a boost in mid-month (zing, pow, dropper of acid in the eye) when mutable Mercury invades your sign. The higher powers shine their smiley light on your handy little talent of getting your voice heard (cough – coercion) you-little-Churchill-you. In the scope of your oceanic vastness of Gemini-qualities, this getting recognition thing ‘aint nothing but a chicken-wing. Just do what you do best. Smile that inimitable dazzler and cast your net ‘o social charms and grace in a wide scope, as you are wont to do (what would Brian Boytano do). Your romantic life stabilizes and deepens, perhaps tied to uncovering a secret?! Keep that split-personality sewn together and don’t become unglued, honey, when conflict arises between a certain partnership and career (oh that old booger, again?). Snap outta it, you hear! It’s time to strip away all the BS, my chicas, and get down to buznass. When life becomes unhinged (due to parental alienation and such, I’m writing a book about it) (oh, Ireland, it’s just not fair), you gotta counter the chaos with simplicity and streamlined intensity. Find yourself some small slices ‘o heaven – like perfection-in-a-compact, SURF & SAND EYE PALETTE, BOBBI BROWN’s newest ocean-inspired shades (hold them up to your ear, you can hear the waves rolling in). A rainbow of colors to schmear on your eyelids, iridescent palette of 10 glamy-fierce shimmering shades of sheer aqua, soft pink, and beige, with pearlized pigments. I just love this chica, Bobbi Brown, she is the fiercest beeotch! (Just to be clear, the good Bobbi Brown, not the reality TV ‘star,’ Whitney-pissing-off, evil-doer, Bobby Brown.) She should get her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (or at least the Coney Island boardwalk) with her fabu beach-bum colors, designed to be applied using fingers or brushes, such a throwback to finger-painting class. I so loved that, remember those utopian times? Becoming one with the paint; bonding in tactile immediacy and abstract intimacy with the spirit of an impressionist painter creating an ethereal landscape on her own face - tres avant-garde and foxy. (www.bobbibrown.com)
	Crack open a frosty tall one and revel in knocking back celebratory brews all month long, in homage to some historical Mexicans pushing the French invasion back. Some dudes in yesteryear apparently giving their lives so you could have another drinking holiday to get toasty and high. Well isn’t that special? It ‘aint always easy to maintain tip-top partying form at all times, but you’d better get on the crystal ball, my Cancerial friend, cause there’s a mighty lively month of May in store for you. No joke, sista solja, tie on your dancing shoes and try your best to accommodate the unprecedented public demand for your loveliness. To say you’re highly stimulated this month would be an understatement of vast proportions. All those beer bubbles keep you giddy and on the go. A romantic revelation occurs around the Full Moon in early-month and then Venus sidles in, revealing your magnetic best. It’s time to break out those ‘spensive hose, bronze up your cleavage good and don your silk shoes – this is your time to shine. You’re under the skin of damn near everyone, and they’re so squashed under the influence of your colossal thumb, it’s not even fair the ways the scales are tipped in your favor at this current juncture. Your career shifts into caliente mode mid-month. Initially mundane tasks hold your attention, but wanderlust is bound to grab hold soon enough, shaking you up like a Sapporo Grande and then knocking your top off with a ballyhoo flourish. You come spewing out in a tumult of frothy passion, lady, it’s all about being too-too this month of May. Don’t forget the most elemental of lessons that mama never taught ya, for ingénue eyes so innocent and wide, daub your luscious lashes with handy MAC PREP + PRIME LASH, a white underneath coat that dries to a semi-clear base (www.maccosmetics.com). Both conditioning and strengthening that most integral portion of your flirting mechanism, while making mascara last longer. Hello?! take it from the flitty empress, and all those other queens on the scene lately – Ms. Arquette and Tyra-sweetie - you’re totally golden in May if you take the time to make sure that every last lash is lengthened and separated, every ‘i’ dotted for maximum flirtitude. Your flawless finesse will be gift enough to ravish them thoroughly, flutter their hearts and keep them panting for more.
	Languishing Leo, slap on your monocles, and take a gander at how much others are loving on you this month. You freaking live for this shiznat - just don’t Hugh-Grant-it and attack a photog with a can of Spam. It shouldn’t all be that insane for you, after all you’re not Nancy Pelosi. Seriously then, rise the curtain, raise the roof and hightail it out there to parade your double-stuff hotness in May’s gloriousness. When it comes to matters of the heart, May is about pleasure in the private, quiet and spiritual moments of life, so grab a tambourine and learn how to chant. Relationship ruckus will likely appear, but just deal with all that emotional white-noise as only you can do, noble Leo, and don’t give it too much attention. You of all creatures know how to hang in there and change it all up to your advantage. Pay close attention to any unsettled financial matters before you give in to your overwhelming desire to indulge in pricey extra-curriculars. Despite temptations galore, your lion-ethics keep you on the path of righteousness. And just as the French retreating from Mexico at that faithful battle (in whose honor we squeeze lemon into creamy heads and tip back cold ones together), a distress call is issued: mayday-makeup-mayday, if your lips aren’t perfectly pouty, you’ve totally missed the Gucci boat. And you didn’t even know there was a boat. Flawless lips are the must-have, primary accessory of this coming summer season, didn’t you know? Well as it so is, Paris is on the line (thankfully not the one with the yip-yap dog that makes doing nothing into a career) to make it up to you with (eee)gads of laissez faire attitude (did you know that Frenchys actually cheat less than Americans?). BOURJOIS EFFET 3D MOBILE CELL PHONE CHARM, ringy-dingy charming trio of juicy glosses for your sweet smackers, mounted onto your #1 accessory-of-the-millennium - your cell phone. (My girlfriend claimed that GrindHouse was a feminist trestise. But despite Ms. McGowan’s’s fabu, relentless red kissers, the best we’ve seen this side of Texas in a quick minute, the flick was total shite. Sorry for the tangent, but speaking about lips I just had to get that out!) So shine up those sultry ones with revved up hot weather glam, May‘s must-have for that femmy, off-the-beaten-edge of Madison-Ave stylie look. Keep perpetually tuned into your lips’ inner child with these two femmy oral-fixation essentials: cell phone and jovial lipgloss charm trio. Slather on the glossy glam and leave far behind, in the blustery history annals of this weird so-called-spring, those waxy, chapped-to-the-max winter lips and rejoice in your sugary-sweet summer kissers… in eight lip smacking shades, oui, oui, mon cheri. (www.Sephora.com)
	Git along little Virgo doggie, with that down-home, Hunter-S-Thompson-gonzo-Sierra-Club-spirit-of-adventure grabbing hold of you in May and riding you bareback for all you’re worth. Your social life is pleasant enough, but just below the surface lurks unnerving passions and frenzied emotions. No matter how hard you try and deny ‘em, they’re kickin’ up dirt like a rodeo cowgirl on a hog-tying mission, no foolin’. Fight your urge to cut lose and have a full-on thrashing fit, get jiggy with your aerobicize video instead and let Barbarella-in-diagonally-striped-leotard help you work it out sans the total freakout. So now you’re all played out to the hilt and too tired to freak out when I warn you of potential conflict between domestic and partnership situations on the horizon in the near future. So here’s what you do: work out that angle to slip away on that holiday va-cay you’ve been drooling over. A bit of globetrotting is especially appealing as your normally keen attention span slides down the lackluster rabbit hole with no sign of reappearing. Choke down a healthy shot of ghastly wheatgrass, cause you’re gonna need all the jolt you can get. This month of May merrily favors promotion of all kinds, partying, networking and adventuring beyond your usual port of call. It’s your time to catapult into the lens, my friend, and you better look the part. You need to be absolutely flawless, obv. No more mucking around in ‘comfy’ yoga pants cause that kid stuff just ‘aint gonna cut the brie. It’s time to up your game and as mama didn’t say, ‘always step your best neck forward,’ PREVIOUS NECK-LIFTING FORMULA comes to Virgo’s mayday rescue (www.neimanmarcus.com). Cause girl sometimes you don’t even know where you need a boost until the evidence is staring you in the face. From the Clinica Ivo Pitanguy in Rio de Janeiro, touted to be legendary and hello? - the Brazilians know a thing or two about the body ‘sciences’ and being zexi. Collective knowledge from aestheticians, dermatologists, nutritionists, biochemists, and surgeons, available in a lovely ‘lil jar of velvety gel cream applied to the neck and décolleté morning and night to lift, firm, and tone. The kind’a thing you can’t necessarily work out at the gym (you know what I’m saying). Smoothes and minimizes wrinkles, increases firmness and naturally moisturizes. Who knew that marine collagen could render your lovelies so light ‘n floaty? Only a sultry beach culture would discover what the dolphins and fishes understand firsthand, the extraordinary lifting and firming properties of the ocean.
	May marks the first month of the calendar year where balance and harmony seem to be within your grasp. Geronimo, run for the border! It may be time for a little divine intervention, but you won’t know until it’s already happened. It’s time to get up, time to get out, time to get busy. Time to tie up loose ends (tie me up, tie me down), settle outstanding accounts (with a light bullwhip on the backside) and collect monies owed (this is a shakedown, sucka). Finances are your main focus, so take time to fill out the remainder of that tick-tack-toe game of x’s ‘n o’s on your accountant’s Excel spreadsheet. Line up all those zeroes in the proper column – you don’t want any messing around with your livelihood (we all know in which direction the housing market is plunging), or your wo-manhood. But then again, despite your material focus, soon enough matters of the heart take over and an intimate partnership gets heavy. You may be getting curiosier and curiosier about the world around you, and that’s fine the majority of the time, dear Alice. But sometimes you’re simply on empty; the broadband connect to the information-overload speedway feeding directly into your jugular leaves you frazzled and side-saddling the stress-mobile. You just slammed a mogul at top speed and wiped out on your face. Do your best not to over-think life right now. Just roll with the punches. Be extra savvy to tall tales if you suspect others aren’t dishing up the full monty. Excellent job opportunities appear like gypsy psychics in my dreams, keeping you stimulated, titillated and fully engaged. To add some major sass factor to your current olfactory adventures, get a whiff’a SARAH, DUCHESS OF YORK TEA COLLECTION of slurpable tea candles. In gorgeous scents reminiscent of English high tea ceremonies: hones-ty, loyal-ty, digni-ty, royal-ty and tranquil-ty. For keepsakability, each candle lives in its own exquisitely designed, white bisque tea canister with an English family crest. A portion of proceeds benefits the Sarah Ferguson Foundation. You know what a total tea hussie, I am. Drip the hot wax you know where for added fun with a friend, and become one with the inner spirit of the tea. It’s unmitigated. (www.bathandbodyworks.com)
	You know you feel that anarchy rising within you, skillful Scorpio. You can’t help it - you are your own creature of the night and you have to beat that drum. All you wanna do right now is stake out your territory, run the flag up, decree your autonomy and bust a nut. But eh-eh, not so fast, in fact this merry month of May will be about compromise for you, my headstrong dear. Rain, wind and May flowers blow in new beginnings on the romance wheel; and someone quite ‘not your type’ may slip under the radar (like, I’ll settle for Stephen Colbert despite the inevitably bony ass and knock-knees, because he’s brilliant, hysterical, sardonic and rich – yah, settling like that). You’ll end up wearing your raw emotions on your sleeve for a twist, not such the simple task for fearless one! You’ll be challenged to step outside your own tough skin to balance your needs with a significant other’s… yes it can be done! You could take a lesson from your Libra friends in balance and harmony (oooohhhhmmmm). This is a time of year to grow your personal resources, take a few risks and maybe throw yourself a revolution-fiesta to celebrate your good fortune. You do understand that to lure in welterweight heavyweights like Stephen Colbert, you’d freaking better get on the balance ball. Forget those childish parlor games of yours. You’d better be set, on a moment’s notice, to fix up that entire face of yours and whip it into the very image of rosy summertime perfection without a second thought. TRISH MCEVOY SUMMERTIME COLLECTION is like a personal make-up artist in a sleek little black card compact. The epitome of Trish’s must-have collection, everything you need from skin and cheeks to eyes and lips. Make his head spin around backward, girl (not just for poltergeists anymore), it’s time to up your game - with irresistibly solicitous eye shadow hues, peachy sand, candlelight and golden bronze glazes, Caribbean blue definer, beach face shine (squeaky), peach cream blush, apricot and sheer sunpetal lip glosses – ummm tender, ripe, feisty. (www.saks.com) Vamos a la playa, oooooo.
	Oh lovable Sagi, May will be smokin’ in the love-depo, for flitty ‘lil you! While work and mundane matters do take center stage (oh yes, the harrah, the drudgery), stirrings of the romantic kind start percolating beneath the surface (un icy frappe por favor, vanilla with soy, moto gracias). A new love affair will kick-start those sizzling passions and although your focus is on expanding your personal horizons, as per usual, you wanderluster – in other words: this doesn’t seem the best time to run off to Belize to drink peyote, wear pampers and rebirth your inner child, ya got me? - Obligations to family or disruptions on the homefront interfere with your fantasies of fancy and ground you for the time being. And I know how you hate to hear this, but attention to detail on the job is a#1 priority, even though your venturesome mind is stumbling about the craters of Mars right now. (Even Stephen Hawkings talks of humans inhabiting other planets as absolute inevitability, so your wandering mind may actually be onto something). So what is priority #1 when wandering the cosmos for inhabitable planets and random planetary space travel? Protection from the elements of course. Even when your love life is on fire, your skin should not be, hello?! So take full advantage of SEPHORA’S own SUN SAFETY KIT, an utter necessity for frequent cosmic cowgirls, and everyone else who simply worships the outdoors and lord knows, it finally be that time of year (sephora.com)! Eight of your favorite, travel-ready sun protection products bound together in the cutest yellow mesh tote bag, compiled to fight the wrinkling, cancer causing and ageing affects of the sun. Even though I’m stupidly excited over the miraculous conception - a blip of bronzy color on my crinkly blue winter skin - at my first writer’s outing, I do preach ‘practice safe sun.’ With Sephora's collection, 100% of the net profits will benefit the Skin Cancer Foundation, now how’s that for altruistic shopping? Hey, maybe they’ll develop a cream to ward off the ill effects of these hurricanes, northeasters and apocalyptic tsunamis that are over taking our world! Now that’d be some clever schmearing! Don’t call it global warming, call it whatever you may, but you can’t deny the simple cause and effect paradigm the industrialization of our planet has on our global weather systems. It’s just common sense. How should we refer to it… how about fatwa against tyrannical-global-extremism-terrorism weather systems on the rampage? Shouldn’t this chaotic weather be banned by law? It’s an outrage! To whom do I write a letter?
	In the matter of romance, scrappy Cappi, this month of May is like double-dipped, coconut toasted marshmallows drippinng in dark chocolate fondue, at your leisure, madam; (I’m about to knock you over and steal you horoscope, beeotch). You’ll find relationships playful, gratifying and especially loving. And new a beginning is forming, whether it be from a new affair, or a fresh start with an existing (read = old) romance. It’s definitely time to step out in your salsa shoes and see what the cha-cha-cha’s going on. Domestic matters can be challenging, so instead of banging your head against the brick wall of familial disagreements, it’s better to direct your energies toward home improvements. You can never get enough work in on your fung shei floral arranging. You may begin feeling completely szicho in the decision-making depo, as the facts seem to tell you one thing, and your intuition a completely different tale. Since you are unsure about WTF, and you don’t wanna get all caught up in that whole player-hating-thang, avoid signing any legalistic documents until your faith is restored and your considerable psychic abilities return as your guide. Kick back, pour yourself a spot of fresh tea, munch a crispy biscuit and consider your possibilities. Slow down, breathe and smell the yerba mate, chicktita. KIEHL’S YERBA MATÉ TEA LOTION moisturizer, formulated with the vitamin-infused tea extracts of the South American herb, dramatically improves skin’s texture, combating dullness and dryness, and infusing it with health, radiance and youthful vivacity (www.neimanmarcus.com). Not that it’s necessarily cool for someone to try and poke a straw in your cheek and slurp you. But you know you want to be known for that beautifully dewy, plumped-up skin that so few women really have anymore (all icky pulled, poked and stitched tight, affected adversely by the elements and chemical-based remedies). It’s mos-def time to turn back to basics to learn what we can scoop right off the table and onto our faces, that’s tasty and beneficial for our skin. It’s good to play with your food when it comes to nature’s remedies. And if you’re really eating well, just scoop right off your plate, slop onto the old derm and smear like a mask. Wait 10 minutes and rinse off with cool water. That’ll set your problem skin straight. (Not recommended for those eating sloppy Thanksgiving dinner, wedding cake, or other traditionally festive foods.)
	If you sometimes feel to be swimming upstream narry fear, for you are the Aquarian commander-in-chief of the waterways, so keep it all in perspective. Don’t be sideswiped or sidetracked by off-kilter elements. Family and home life figure prominently in May, as you simultaneously work aggressively toward financial and career goals. Do your darndest to avoid borrowing from your savings, which are meant for important goals (and not an extra pair of satin-swaddled, pointy-toed Robert Clergerie shoes, Ms. Bradshaw). Borrowing from the future can cause you great stress for obvious reasons, you hardly want to find out your Roll Over IRA and 401k you’ve been relying on all these years are empty, while your shoe closet is full. So buckle down, move the sledgehammer away from poor piggy and just keep working toward those lofty ends. Your sage advice is sought in the beginning of the month as others admire your integrity and expertise; you’re a regular pseudo-psychological-yogi! A romantic opportunity might appear on the job, but keep your watery head about you (Wolfowitz), mind your nepotism p’s & q’s, and remember it’s often best to not s**t where you eat. So keep it real, maintain your mental clarity and you’ll make the right decision. And speaking of sound choices, Mz-bearer-of-water, work to maintain a sense of balance as the month chugs on. And as much as we all love tying one on sometimes, you know very well how too much of a good thing can leave you looking… well, you know… puffy (just ask Ms. Zellweger, a veritable PHD on the subject of the bloat). For all the May Day assistance you could hope to muster, turn to ESTEE LAUDER’S PERFECTIONISTPOWER CORRECTING PATCH, to cure deeper eye lines and wrinkles, perhaps exacerbated by excess consuming of cerveza fria for the entire month, methinks (www.macys.com). Like PreparationH for your tear ducts, showing visible results in 20 minutes, as miraculous as it seems. Giving the eye area an incredibly smoother, much younger look almost instantly, your delicate eye-skin will be ageing in reverse dog-years. Powered by gentle micro-currents of energy, the patches continuously release powerful ingredients, including a Bio-Peptide, directly to the eye area to boost skin's natural collagen production. In just four weeks, the look of deeper eye lines and wrinkles is dramatically reduced. ‘Aint it just all about the collagen, don’t it seem? Another lesson mama didn’t teach me.
	The month of May is such a lovely marshmallow-fluffy-puffy time for you, prescient Pisces, so max and relax into this charmingly sociable, laid-back, and jolly ride. How much do I covet your sun sign right now? Give it to me! Hanging with the peeps is particularly stimulating, and upbeat news arrives that lifts your spirits (take your pick – via e-mail, voicemail, Morse code, smoke signals, messenger pigeons, heliograph, or two-tin-cans on the end of an old string), it’s all good in the hood. Take advantage of this especially favorable month for erudition, new wisdom, speaking and preaching, and all the while others find you fantastically charismatic and impossible to resist. You’re like the new Melissa & Joan, all dolled-up, sassy to the hilt and ready to dig up all the dirt on everyone else (without the plastic smile, literally). Despite all your unmitigated fabulousness, you still may feel tension between personal goals and career demands. The urge to pursue worldly things you find practically irresistible and while you’re at it, you’ll have only the best of everything, wait… make that two. Which brings you into acquaintance with the best freaking mineral make-up around, BARE ESCENTUALS, probably already high on your must-have essential list. Every damn diva-in-the-know in this town already sports their powder on her glowing punim. But what in fact may be new news, is their fab eye starter set, GET STARTED EYES, a luxe, seven-piece eye defining and lining collection that actually guides you through application start to finish (like make-up GED for spazzes like me). It breaks-down into simple steps how to achieve effortless glam looks in mere secs, for busy chicas forever on the go who sometimes need to do their liner on the L train, or God forbid while crossing a busy intersection (have that outlawed that yet - I’m sure it’s next on Spitzer’s hit-list). You’ll find an especially yummy collection of vanilla sugar, peach puff and soft focus explore (brown in sepia-shaded movie terms) shadow colors, fashionista-colored (chocolate raisin, in runway hues) liner shadow, plus contour, eye defining and eyeliner brushes (www.sephora.com). Hey wait, I didn’t know runway models ate! I guess that’s why the make-up’s all natural, in case they need to sneak a little snack, no one will be any the wiser. What’s the runway motto - never let ‘em see you eat!