People are going to be Chazen after you to know where you bought that

By Razi Schwartz

“WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?”
“Oh, it’s just a little something something I picked up from a super hot designer.”
“Wow, you’re so cool and fabulous. I wish I could be just like you.”

Ever had dreams like the one above? You know, the one where you’re the envy of all your girlfriends because you’re such a style maven, put together, hip, cool, blah blah blah, etc”¦? Uh huh, yeah, I know “you’re already a style maven among your friends,” and if that’s what you want to call it I won’t be the one to burst your bubble. Truth be told, you’re always glancing at your friends digs out of the corner of your eye, wondering and pondering how it would look on you, where she got it, how much it cost ““ for real, and not the fake price she’ll tell you. (COME ON, I KNOW YOU’VE DONE IT ““ “I got SUCH a good deal on this bag, it only cost me $50,” which really means I spent $150 but I’m going to tell you I’m an awesome bargain hunter and get to look this fabulous for a lot less money than you think).

Anyways, back to my point. Now you, yes little ole you, can be the raven maven, start a trend, bust a chop, cut a rug, whatever. You’ll be the leader of the pack of trend whores, knowing you were the one that stood at the pinnacle of fashion greatness. Ever heard of Jacqui Chazen? Now you have, and you won’t forget her name. Her designs are OUT OF THIS WORLD, and let me be the first to tell you, you’ve never seen anything like it”¦them”¦the designs.

Her big claim to fabulosity are her wrap watches. They come in silk or leather, and wrap around your wrist like a bracelet, but are also GORGINA watches. GORGINE!!!!! The designs are all so unique, you’ll want one to go with each outfit you have. I’m telling you, these things could make even a white beater tank, jeans, and a plain pair of havainas look to-die for. You could be decked to the 2′s in Gap and look like a million bucks. I have a personal obsession with the Beck”¦and the Jenna”¦oh and the #5 leather watch. I SERIOUSLY LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH I CAN’T DECIDE.

Ok, but”¦Jacqui also designs computer bags ““ say goodbye to ugly and clunky my lady birds”¦we’re talking deliciously fabulous designs that are water resistant. You can even place a custom order, and they come in small, medium, and large. So it doesn’t matter how big your PowerBook is, you’re good to go! Oh, and think it stops there? WELL THINK AGAIN. You can also get a little something special for your poochie woochie to match your watch, computer bag, and BELT ““ yep, she also designs belts. I’m telling you, you’re so good to go on the one way train to awesomeness with her designs.
How much does all this cost? This is my favorite part so sit tight.

Silk or Satin Wrap Watches – $175.00 plus tax
Leather Wrap Watches – $200.00 plus tax
Computer Bags- $250.00 plus tax
Shipping – $10 flat rate (add $3 for each additional watch, Free shipping for orders of 6 or more!)

BUT, for BeautyNewsLA readers, Jacquie Chazen Designs is giving you 10% off your order. When you place the order through the website, be sure to mention BN, and they’ll contact you with your recalculated order.

Uh, hi”¦awesomeness times five, right?

http://www.jacquichazendesigns.com/index.html

Why Advertising Can Rock 101
By Razi Schwartz

Hey, hey you cynicists you. Shut up. Yes, advertising can rock. How can it rock you ask? Uh, hi, well let’s start with any commercial that involves talking or dancing animals. Not talking babies, but definitely talking animals. Or, I don’t know, how about a beautifully written ad that makes your “I LOVE THAT” buds go all a-flutter – like, oh, I don’t know, let’s say an ad written by yours truly? Why, I do believe I like the sound of that!!!

This is just an FYI that if you’re now interested in advertising with BeautyNews, you can place your ad specifically in the City Pulse section, and that’s right kids, yours truly will write the ad her very own self. So, if you don’t like my style/tone/grammar/brilliant vocabulary/proseology, first of all you can shove it and second of all maybe you should write your own damn ad. But if you absolutely can’t get enough of me, than why not have me write something witty that will grasp our reader’s attention and maybe, oh just maybe, even check out your product.

It’s all so brilliant I could die. Or kvell. Yes, kvell. Definitely kvell.

Contact advertising@beautynewsnyc.com for further details.